Awww Mom,
Why can't I have a blog?
Everyone else is doing it...

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Tuesday, November 30, 2004

I visited the Silicon Valley, my profession's homeland, which is presently under siege by the
snatch-and-grab Outsourcers. The valley is strewn with the rotting corpses of dead careers.
The conflicts rage on, and victory is uncertain. Still, hope lingers in the hearts and keyboards
of an embattled few.

Seeing Beyond

From the movie, "Full Header Packet":

TRACEBACK:

You listen to Token, new guy. He knows ti ti. Very little. You
know he's never been in the shit, 'cause he ain't got the stare.

RASTERMAN:

The stare?

TRACEBACK:

The Thousand Line Stare.

A programmer gets it after she's been debugging shit for too
long. It's like... it's like you've really seen beyond.

I got it. All C Programmers got it. And you'll have it too.

And... Cut! And Print.

Spastic Mutant

Posted by SpasticMutant @ 11:41 AM PST [Link]

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Thursday, November 18, 2004

What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why (Sonnet XLIII)

What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply,
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.
Thus in winter stands the lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet knows its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone,
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.

--Edna St. Vincent Millay

Posted by SpasticMutant @ 06:34 PM PST [Link]

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Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Ashes of Life

Love has gone and left me and the days are all alike;
Eat I must, and sleep I will, -- and would that night were here!
But ah! -- to lie awake and hear the slow hours strike!
Would that it were day again! -- with twilight near!

Love has gone and left me and I don't know what to do;
This or that or what you will is all the same to me;
But all the things that I begin I leave before I'm through, --
There's little use in anything as far as I can see.

Love has gone and left me, -- and the neighbors knock and borrow,
And life goes on forever like the gnawing of a mouse, --
And to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow
There's this little street and this little house.

-- Edna St. Vincent Millay

Posted by SpasticMutant @ 02:38 PM PST [Link]

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Friday, November 12, 2004

Ballwalking! The military hijinks never seem to end.

A scottish soldier exposes his junk in a photo with the Queen!

I realize that boldness is a highly desirable trait in a trained soldier, but I think that ballwalking in a photograph with your military's highest ranked commander (in this case, the Queen) is way overboard.

His commanders must be hoarse from screaming at him, unless they were relieved of duty too. And to think, I always thought that ballwalking and 'nad exposure in general was a uniquely American military tradition. [more]

Posted by SpasticMutant @ 06:09 PM PST [Link]

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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Happy Birthday Marines!

As an added bonus, on your birthday you have the satisfaction of knowing that as of 9:30PM EST today, November 10, 2004, Yasser Arafat is DEAD - a gift the Corps has fervently desired since the Beirut barracks bombings in 1983.

Now, if the rest of those miserable terrorist bastards would just follow Arafat's example, maybe we can all get back to fearing our government instead of middle eastern terrorism.

Posted by SpasticMutant @ 09:27 PM PST [Link]

This stinks to high heaven of stealth marketing - a Swedish team of female gamers:

"The members of Les Seules are: Thomsen, 24, the unofficial leader; Thelma Lundin, 20, the competitive player; Bystrom, 20, the sassy sprite; Sandager, 18, the party girl; Ohman, 16, the serious athlete; Anna Nordlander, 17, the wild child; and Emily Clewett, 25, the quiet one. Or, at least, that's how they've been positioned."

Uh huh.

Which one of them is Bitchy Spice? [more]

Posted by SpasticMutant @ 05:24 PM PST [Link]

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Tuesday, November 9, 2004

Best of Craig's List

Jaded Hag Seeks Ugly Bastard for Breeding Feral Children - 31
Reply to: anon-46499690@craigslist.org
Date: Fri Oct 22 19:44:45 2004

Loathsome, bitter wretch seeking repulsive mate for creation of ugly brood of offspring. I'm not really looking for plain, unattractive mates, but more two-ply brown bag, can't leave the house hideous (but virile!) to assist with conception of world's most foul, deformed, dog-faced children. Disfigurements should be genetic as opposed to accidental.

I have no outside interests or likes. I am hated, alone and thoroughly disliked. UB2. [more]

Posted by SpasticMutant @ 08:12 PM PST [Link]

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Friday, November 5, 2004

China Upgrading Beijing Toilets

" China's public restrooms — often little more than open trenches — have long shocked and disgusted tourists with their stench and lack of soap, toilet paper and other basics."

" Public urination by adults and children clad in "split crotch pants" are still a common sight in this crowded city."

Finally, a world summit dedicated to shit and piss.

And don't forget! World Toilet Day is Nov. 19. Be sure to wash your hands twice the next time you take a dump. [more]

Posted by SpasticMutant @ 05:06 PM PST [Link]

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Thursday, November 4, 2004

A National Guard training jet STRAFED A SCHOOL with around 25 rounds from his cannon in new Jersey during a night training run.

Oh, c'mon. It could'a happened to anybody. We don't just kill Canadian and American troops with friendly fire; sometimes, just for fun, we unload on a school - but not that often, so get off our case! Maybe if he'd been able to see some tits like those Aussie helo pilots, he might have strafed a little closer to his intended target. And besides, who uses the school at night? Well, maybe for a game, but that's all. So what if he smacks a jock or a cheerleader? He's training to protect us ALL from the terrorist threat, and we all just have to learn to make sacrifices.

It's all good, clean, harmless fun. What else are our tax dollars good for, anyway...? [more]

Posted by SpasticMutant @ 03:47 PM PST [Link]

Unreal.

Australian army chopper crew stood down over lewd sign at Indy race

The more things change, the more things stay the same. The sad part is that these guys are the cream of the crop, the elite, Australia's finest, and are probably feted and honored in "private", where the media can't see it. They only did it because they truly thought they'd get away with it - that's where the real problem is.

It also gives you an idea of how unbelievable the terror threat level there really is - if the guys charged with protecting them are hovering about looking for tits, how bad can the real threat be? Obviously it's not imminent, and is just an overblown effort by their government to placate a few irritating whiners. Hence the bored crew and silly antics. If they were really afraid of terrorists attacking the event, they'd definitely be looking for missiles and rifles, not tits. Or maybe, the terrorists are using the bare tits as cover for their insidious plots, and those tits really did warrant a second, third, fourth, and fifth looksie. Good Job guys! Don't let those terrorists get away with exploiting Australian tits!

You don't see Israeli pilots hovering around asking women to show them their tits, that's for sure. Those guys have real work to do. [more]

Posted by SpasticMutant @ 02:19 PM PST [Link]

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