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12/28/2004 Entry: "LMEWDFDS"
While some people, especially on the other side of the planet, were excessively preoccupied with their own selfish concerns in the aftermath of the giant East Asian earthquake and tsunamis, real tragedy has unfolded here in the US.
Liza Minelli fell out of bed drunk and smacked her head, knocking herself unconscious.
I believe that the US government should own up to its responsibility in failing to protect Liza Minelli from the floor when she was clearly not capable of handling the effects of our planet's powerful and capricious gravitational field. It's well known that she drinks too much, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms KNOWS that she drinks too much, and something like this was bound to happen. I propose that we fund and deploy a mechanism to prevent tragedies like this in the future:
The Liza Minelli Early Warning Drunken Fall Detection System (LMEWDFDS).
Every American home and hotel can benefit from such a system so we can all do our part to atone for our past inadequacies and look forward to a better world where Liza Minelli can fall out of bed drunk and not fear that anything will cause her harm.
After all, if it can happen to Liza Minelli, it can happen to anyone.
Liza Minnelli rushed to hospital after intoxicated bed fall!
(28.12.2004)
"Cabaret" star Liza Minnelli was rushed to hospital after falling out of her bed and injuring her head. Police have stated that Minelli was apparently intoxicated.
Liza Minnelli, who just recently celebrated her 58th birthday, has a long history of Alcohol and drug related problems. In 1985 she spent some time in the Betty Ford Clinic suffering from dependency on valium and alcohol.
Despite suffering from hip replacement surgeries, knee surgery, alcoholism and drug addiction, she made a comeback in 1999 with her one woman Broadway show "Minnelli on Minnelli"
She has been going through a stressful time just recently with her former bodyguard and driver suing her for assault and battery and claiming that Minnelli forced him to have sex with her in order to keep his job.
In addition to this, her estranged husband, David Gest, has also sued her for $10 million, claiming that she beat him so badly that he suffered serious head injuries. Minnelli has countersued Gest, claiming that he stole money from her.
Liza Minnelli's mother, Judy Garland, also had a history of drink and drug problems. She died in 1969 at the age of 47 in London from an accidental overdose of barbiturates.
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