Awww Mom,
Why can't I have a blog?
Everyone else is doing it...
| October 2005 | ||||||
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Sunday, October 2, 2005
Given what a pain in the ass iTunes can be when working with mp3 files not of its own making, I've had to rename certain files with a prefix so I can manage them better. Here's a script to rename files with a given prefix. Invoked so:
> prerename.sh
Example:
>prerename.sh "*.mp3" "CD-1-"
Be sure to keep the arguments inside double quotes so the renaming can handle spaces, otherwise the shell will expand them into arguments for you. Oops.#!/bin/bash
# Program: prerename.sh
# Author: Spastic Mutant mutant@spasticmutant.com
#
# Rename a bunch of files with the given prefix.
# e.g. > ./testrename "fo*" "myprefix"
# renames foo\ 5 to myprefixfoo\ 5 .
#prefix=$2
for i in $1 ;
do
echo "starting with: " $i
mfile=$(echo $i | sed 's/\.\///')
echo $mfile
echo "finalname:" $prefix$mfile
mv "$mfile" "$prefix$mfile"done
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 12:34 PM PST [Link]
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Dang I'd love to see Slashdot's fortune list.
When one knows women one pities men, but when one studies men,
one excuses women.
-- Horne TookePosted by SpasticMutant @ 09:27 AM PST [Link]
Tuesday, April 5, 2005
Wisdom from the mouths of babes
"I ignore comments about technical or legal issues from people who have proven that they understand neither. Arguing with unreasonable people who hide behind anonymity is a waste time, so I don't bother."
-- Jon Lech Johansen, aka "DVD Jon"
I really like the Nordic Genius model of engineering. The most powerful voices of digital freedom are coming from Northern Europe, not America. I feel a little sad about it, but it's the US legal system that brought us the crushing constricting oppression of the DMCA, the MPAA, and the RIAA, so we must look elsewhere for heros to deliver us from ourselves.
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 01:58 PM PST [Link]
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Maybe I should get one that says, "Loser Magnet".
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 06:25 PM PST [Link]
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
A former "friend" once "borrowed" a paper I wrote - I loaned it to her so she could get the footnotes; this was in 1991 or 1992, before everything in the Universe was on the Innahnet. I got a "C" on the paper, and figured that with the research marked out, she could read the sources and write a better paper since I clearly hadn't done a good job on that one. I specifically marked it up to reduce temptation; who would plagiarize a "C" paper, for chrissakes!!!? If you're going to steal, steal from the best! The bitch had HER HUSBAND retype the thing verbatim (as the copy I gave her had my name all over it and a big circle around the citations she was supposed to use for her RESEARCH) and she turned it in. She couldn't even be bothered to retype it herself.
She received an "A".
Apparently, a "C" at a California university is worth an "A" at a Washington State university.
Jill Elise M.V.J., if you're out there, I still hate you.
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 04:12 PM PST [Link]
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Moon Phase calculator!
moon phase
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 08:58 PM PST [Link]
Monday, March 7, 2005
Look! A list of all the words the NFL refuses to put on their personalized jerseys!
Naughty Naughty Customer Words
Hmmm... I don't see Loser Ex-Boyfriend anywhere in that list.
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 09:57 PM PST [Link]
Monday, February 14, 2005
That's one way to get me to check my filters.Finally, someone put something of value in their spam messages. JokeSpam! Here's the joke, sans spam (which was pathetically pornographic):
Four guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons. "My son," the first one says, "started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his choice!"
"My son," said the second, "started out serving lunch in a real estate office, but now owns the real estate office and just gave one of his friends a new mansion!"
"My son," said the third, "started out sweeping the floors at the Stock Exchange, but now practically owns the Stock Exchange and just gave one of his friends a 1,000,000 in stock."
"Well," the fourth guy said, "my son's turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. He's a gay hairdresser and he has SEVERAL boyfriends. On the plus side, between them, they gave him four cars, a mansion, and a million dollars in stock for his birthday."Posted by SpasticMutant @ 08:54 AM PST [Link]
Thursday, February 3, 2005
Here's the ultimate in political expression - Poo Flags!
As featured on Made You Think (with pictures!)
Police in Germany are hunting pranksters who have been sticking miniature US flags into piles of dog poo in public parks.
Josef Oettl, parks administrator for Bayreuth, said: "This has been going on for about a year now, and there must be 2,000 to 3,000 piles of excrement that have been claimed during that time."
The series of incidents was originally thought to be some sort of protest against the US-led invasion of Iraq.
And then when it continued it was thought to be a protest against President George W. Bush's campaign for
re-election.
But it is still going on and the police say they are completely baffled as to who is to blame.
"We have sent out extra patrols to try to catch whoever is doing this in the act," said police spokesman Reiner Kuechler.
"But frankly, we don't know what we would do if we caught them red handed."
Legal experts say there is no law against using faeces as a flag stand and the federal constitution is vague on the issue.
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 12:29 PM PST [Link]
Friday, January 21, 2005
Soaked by Apple
Well, here's a $60 lesson that I've paid for so you don't have to:
To reset iPod mini and iPod (Click Wheel):
1. Connect your iPod to the iPod Power Adapter and plug the power adapter into an electrical outlet
2. Toggle the Hold switch on and off (slide it to Hold and then turn it off again)
3. Press and hold the Menu and Select buttons until the Apple logo appears (about 6 to 10 seconds). You may need to repeat this stepIf you are still unable to reset your iPod, use only one finger from one hand to press the Select button, and one finger from the other hand to press the Menu button.
Note: The "Select" button is the center button, not on the click wheel but inside of it. Don't press the "Menu" and "Pause/Play" button like I did. It won't work. $:^(
I read tons of instructions on how to fix the previous version of Apple iPod, but they didn't map to the ClickWheel version. Only after I called Apple, got soaked for the $60 extended warranty, and got the 40 seconds of tech support necessary to get the above instructions, could I locate the instructions independently. So now you know. THIS is why their stock is above $70.
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 01:24 PM PST [Link]
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Jury Pool from Hell
It appears that people in Memphis have figured out exactly what to say to get out of jury duty - so take notes, all you working class stiffs...
Attorney meets Jury Pool from HellThis is the part that gets me:
Another would-be juror said he had had alcohol problems and was arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover officer. "I should have known something was up," he said. "She had all her teeth."
And I noticed that t he name of the directory containing the article is, "shallow.jury.pool.ap". It should also reference the shallow gene pool in that part of the country as well.
[more]
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 05:56 PM PST [Link]
Monday, January 17, 2005
First Post of the New Year!
And wouldn't ya know? It's about butt cancer!
McDonald's Ex-CEO dies at age 44
"A charismatic leader who said he ate a McDonald's product most days,
Bell was diagnosed with colorectal cancer just weeks after being named
to the company's top job in April.""The company's first non-American CEO, Bell had succeeded Jim
Cantalupo, who died suddenly of a heart attack after a little more
than a year on the job at age 60. He was the company's first CEO to
have worked behind the counter since Fred Turner, who retired in
1987."-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Charlie Bell succeeded a man who died suddenly of a heart attack,
and Bell was a regular eater of McDonalds food since the age of 15.
There's nothing in the article on whether he inherited the genetic
tendency for colorectal cancer or whether it was the food - a diet
high in animal fats is a known contributing factor for this kind of
cancer.On one hand, having a genetic predisposition for colorectal cancer
means McDonald's food isn't entirely at fault - however, if such a
factor is present, he should NEVER have been eating the food since
it's known to severely exacerbate the condition.On the other hand, if he did NOT have a genetic predisposition for
colorectal cancer, yet he died from it, then environmental and dietary
factors are in play - again, the food is suspect.Apparently, the correlation between high animal fat diets and this
particular form of cancer is fairly well established. Frankly, I think
the food killed him. The only reason the media hasn't seized on
this is that McDonald's is a HUGE advertiser in just about every
outlet and no one wants to kill the goose that pays the golden bills.Posted by SpasticMutant @ 04:14 PM PST [Link]
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
My father is proud to announce that he has uncovered TEN, TEN, count'em TEN actors with the currently highest Bacon Number of 8! His heuristic search technique was uncontaminated by traditional computer science approaches; he wrote no code to find the solution as others have.
I can confirm his discoveries personally, though I am unable to divulge the names in keeping with the traditions of the game. I'll give you some hints, though:
1. All ten actors are in the same movie.
2. One of the other actors in that movie has a Bacon Number of 7 (duh!).
3. It's not an American movie.
4. It's not a recent movie.He is also quite proud to say that, indeed, he has too much time on his hands.
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 02:29 PM PST [Link]
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
While some people, especially on the other side of the planet, were excessively preoccupied with their own selfish concerns in the aftermath of the giant East Asian earthquake and tsunamis, real tragedy has unfolded here in the US.
Liza Minelli fell out of bed drunk and smacked her head, knocking herself unconscious.
I believe that the US government should own up to its responsibility in failing to protect Liza Minelli from the floor when she was clearly not capable of handling the effects of our planet's powerful and capricious gravitational field. It's well known that she drinks too much, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms KNOWS that she drinks too much, and something like this was bound to happen. I propose that we fund and deploy a mechanism to prevent tragedies like this in the future:The Liza Minelli Early Warning Drunken Fall Detection System (LMEWDFDS).
Every American home and hotel can benefit from such a system so we can all do our part to atone for our past inadequacies and look forward to a better world where Liza Minelli can fall out of bed drunk and not fear that anything will cause her harm.
After all, if it can happen to Liza Minelli, it can happen to anyone.
[more]Posted by SpasticMutant @ 03:21 PM PST [Link]
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Mammals R Us
"I love my wife, but does she really have to be such a mammal?"
The rest is pretty good too. Personally, I'm thinkin' about converting my excessive endowment into storage pouches so I can carry around more personal electronic devices.
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 06:26 PM PST [Link]
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Dear Spastic Mutant
> This Non-Denominational Gift-Giving Season, I received a calendar
> from my boss, called Successories, which is one of those motivational
> calendars. This one happens to be a sports edition, which is
> ironic considering that I'm more than a few pounds overweight.
>
> I can only gather that he got the idea for this because I have
> one of the "Demotivators" calendars up in my cube, and if you
> only see it in passing, it looks like the real thing.
>
> For example, this month's shot is of the Pyramids. The subject
> of the caption is "Achievement", with the accompanying text:
> "You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind to When You Have Vision,
> Determination, and an Endless Supply of Expendable Labor."
> Clearly, this guy didn't read the caption too closely.
>
> I had intended to get the 2005 Demotivators calendar and
> use that in my cube.
>
> What do I do now???
>
> -Misunderstood in Morristown.
>
>Dear Misunderstood,
It is better to give then to receive.
Buy the 2005 Demotivators calendar and give it to HIM. When you
proudly display the 2005 Successories calendar in your cube, be sure
to make up a new "saying" or two to demotivate you, and tape 'em over
the current month's motivating phrase - it can be just as much fun as
having the actual Demotivators calendar in your cube!For instance, take the sappy motivational phrase, "Together we can do
it", with the pictures of jets soaring through the air. You simply
add, "If you'll just take your boot off my neck for a moment", or,
"But I'm calling in sick today." See? Undermining motivation is
easy. Others may require more thought, but not too much more - you're
demotivated, remember?Demotivation is in your heart and in your mind, not in your calendar.
You can subvert any management initiative if you truly don't believe.
Refer any difficult-to-subvert motivational phrases to the list. I'm
sure we can assist you if you're feeling underwhelmed.Spastic Mutant
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 10:40 PM PST [Link]
Google Quick Quiz
Quick! Name that Sonnet:
For I have sworn thee fair and thought thee bright,
Who art as black as hell, as dark as night.Posted by SpasticMutant @ 07:43 PM PST [Link]
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Awesome Bitch Rant
Here's a woman I could be friends with.
I have to agree with her about Eomer, and the asshat ratio online.
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 03:09 PM PST [Link]
Thursday, December 9, 2004
World's most expensive truffle rots in fridge.
World's most expensive truffle rots in fridge.
My ex let a white truffle from Dean and DeLuca go too long in the fridge. It stank like a sneaker by the time the ex got around to using it. Dumb fuck.
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 09:52 PM PST [Link]
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
I visited the Silicon Valley, my profession's homeland, which is presently under siege by the
snatch-and-grab Outsourcers. The valley is strewn with the rotting corpses of dead careers.
The conflicts rage on, and victory is uncertain. Still, hope lingers in the hearts and keyboards
of an embattled few.
Seeing BeyondFrom the movie, "Full Header Packet":
TRACEBACK:
You listen to Token, new guy. He knows ti ti. Very little. You
know he's never been in the shit, 'cause he ain't got the stare.RASTERMAN:
The stare?
TRACEBACK:
The Thousand Line Stare.
A programmer gets it after she's been debugging shit for too
long. It's like... it's like you've really seen beyond.I got it. All C Programmers got it. And you'll have it too.
And... Cut! And Print.
Spastic Mutant
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 11:41 AM PST [Link]
Thursday, November 18, 2004
What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why (Sonnet XLIII)
What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply,
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.
Thus in winter stands the lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet knows its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone,
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.
--Edna St. Vincent Millay
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 06:34 PM PST [Link]
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Ashes of Life
Love has gone and left me and the days are all alike;
Eat I must, and sleep I will, -- and would that night were here!
But ah! -- to lie awake and hear the slow hours strike!
Would that it were day again! -- with twilight near!Love has gone and left me and I don't know what to do;
This or that or what you will is all the same to me;
But all the things that I begin I leave before I'm through, --
There's little use in anything as far as I can see.Love has gone and left me, -- and the neighbors knock and borrow,
And life goes on forever like the gnawing of a mouse, --
And to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow
There's this little street and this little house.-- Edna St. Vincent Millay
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 02:38 PM PST [Link]
Friday, November 12, 2004
Ballwalking! The military hijinks never seem to end.
A scottish soldier exposes his junk in a photo with the Queen!
I realize that boldness is a highly desirable trait in a trained soldier, but I think that ballwalking in a photograph with your military's highest ranked commander (in this case, the Queen) is way overboard.
His commanders must be hoarse from screaming at him, unless they were relieved of duty too. And to think, I always thought that ballwalking and 'nad exposure in general was a uniquely American military tradition. [more]
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 06:09 PM PST [Link]
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Happy Birthday Marines!
As an added bonus, on your birthday you have the satisfaction of knowing that as of 9:30PM EST today, November 10, 2004, Yasser Arafat is DEAD - a gift the Corps has fervently desired since the Beirut barracks bombings in 1983.
Now, if the rest of those miserable terrorist bastards would just follow Arafat's example, maybe we can all get back to fearing our government instead of middle eastern terrorism.
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 09:27 PM PST [Link]
This stinks to high heaven of stealth marketing - a Swedish team of female gamers:
"The members of Les Seules are: Thomsen, 24, the unofficial leader; Thelma Lundin, 20, the competitive player; Bystrom, 20, the sassy sprite; Sandager, 18, the party girl; Ohman, 16, the serious athlete; Anna Nordlander, 17, the wild child; and Emily Clewett, 25, the quiet one. Or, at least, that's how they've been positioned."
Uh huh.
Which one of them is Bitchy Spice? [more]
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 05:24 PM PST [Link]
Tuesday, November 9, 2004
Jaded Hag Seeks Ugly Bastard for Breeding Feral Children - 31
Reply to: anon-46499690@craigslist.org
Date: Fri Oct 22 19:44:45 2004
Loathsome, bitter wretch seeking repulsive mate for creation of ugly brood of offspring. I'm not really looking for plain, unattractive mates, but more two-ply brown bag, can't leave the house hideous (but virile!) to assist with conception of world's most foul, deformed, dog-faced children. Disfigurements should be genetic as opposed to accidental.I have no outside interests or likes. I am hated, alone and thoroughly disliked. UB2. [more]
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 08:12 PM PST [Link]
Friday, November 5, 2004
China Upgrading Beijing Toilets" China's public restrooms — often little more than open trenches — have long shocked and disgusted tourists with their stench and lack of soap, toilet paper and other basics."
" Public urination by adults and children clad in "split crotch pants" are still a common sight in this crowded city."
Finally, a world summit dedicated to shit and piss.
And don't forget! World Toilet Day is Nov. 19. Be sure to wash your hands twice the next time you take a dump. [more]
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 05:06 PM PST [Link]
Thursday, November 4, 2004
A National Guard training jet STRAFED A SCHOOL with around 25 rounds from his cannon in new Jersey during a night training run.
Oh, c'mon. It could'a happened to anybody. We don't just kill Canadian and American troops with friendly fire; sometimes, just for fun, we unload on a school - but not that often, so get off our case! Maybe if he'd been able to see some tits like those Aussie helo pilots, he might have strafed a little closer to his intended target. And besides, who uses the school at night? Well, maybe for a game, but that's all. So what if he smacks a jock or a cheerleader? He's training to protect us ALL from the terrorist threat, and we all just have to learn to make sacrifices.
It's all good, clean, harmless fun. What else are our tax dollars good for, anyway...? [more]
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 03:47 PM PST [Link]
Unreal.
Australian army chopper crew stood down over lewd sign at Indy race
The more things change, the more things stay the same. The sad part is that these guys are the cream of the crop, the elite, Australia's finest, and are probably feted and honored in "private", where the media can't see it. They only did it because they truly thought they'd get away with it - that's where the real problem is.
It also gives you an idea of how unbelievable the terror threat level there really is - if the guys charged with protecting them are hovering about looking for tits, how bad can the real threat be? Obviously it's not imminent, and is just an overblown effort by their government to placate a few irritating whiners. Hence the bored crew and silly antics. If they were really afraid of terrorists attacking the event, they'd definitely be looking for missiles and rifles, not tits. Or maybe, the terrorists are using the bare tits as cover for their insidious plots, and those tits really did warrant a second, third, fourth, and fifth looksie. Good Job guys! Don't let those terrorists get away with exploiting Australian tits!
You don't see Israeli pilots hovering around asking women to show them their tits, that's for sure. Those guys have real work to do. [more]
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 02:19 PM PST [Link]
Saturday, October 30, 2004
it's pretty accurate! I'm not much of a gamer, but it's mostly because I haven't had the time, or I'd rather do something else - use your imagination. $;^D
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 11:30 PM PST [Link]
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Al Qa Qaa.
I couldn't have named the place better if I tried. At least we won't have to worry about the Al Qa Qaa scandal giving caca a bad name.
Perhaps we can even consider retiring the 'Gate and 'Hook suffixes, with an eye towards, "QaQaa" instead. "Monica-QaQaa". That has a nicer ring to it.
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 02:15 PM PST [Link]
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
You can get anything you want, as long as it isn't Rolex Spam.
Rolex lawyers are spoiling for a fight! Some little list gets spam posted to it, and it turns up in their online archives. Rolex goes apeshit on them with their cease and desist letter, with the usual embarrassing stupidity. Rolex used to have a terrific brand, but with crap like this, they're alienating the very people they'd most like to sell to. So apologize, Rolex, or I too will sing the song, "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant", with a few verses about how crappy the bullying Rolex company is.
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 10:29 AM PST [Link]
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Courtesy of MAD Magazine, of course.
Posted by SpasticMutant @ 01:56 PM PST [Link]
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